Not Yet Kenyan


This is my favorite blog post to date

I have been trying to write this piece for the last two weeks, and it has been agonising. I wrung my brain, trying to come up with zingy openings that compel you to keep reading, descriptions that cut to the core of how I feel, and yet don’t come across as overly sentimental. I worried about over-generalising, over-simplifying, over-dramatizing. I worried about being politically correct. Most of all, I worried about laying it bare…. or starting to.

You see this one is really important to me.

In reality, I have been trying to write this piece for the last decade.

So I am just going to write it. Ungarnished.

I popped my storytelling cherry a few months ago, and was preparing to tell Trupti’s story from John Sibi Okumu’s Role Play. I usually force my family to listen to me practice. They have perfected the art of zoning out, making…

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Why You Should Cheat


Good read.

A Day in a Dog's Life™

I could get shot for what I’m about to say but I don’t care [Someone had to do it anyway]. I owe it to my readers to always tell them the truth about life. In the process, I risk exposing myself and losing everything I have. So today I will tell you why you need to cheat and not feel guilty about it.

I believe it’s okay to cheat. In fact, your life depends on it! How the hell does one live just committed to one individual? My head hurts just at the thought of stopping everything for one person. It is a crime of dire consequences and the already dead and miserable can bear me witness. We were not made to be committed to one person and we were definitely not made lacking the ability to love more than one.

Please control your emotions and let me…

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My Two Cents….


So, yea, like everyone else, I have an opinion on that Njoki Chege article , or whatever it was. And because I have a kamini laptop and internet at my disposal, why not share my opinions with you. First off, I dismissed that article as complete rubbish halfway through reading it, then after giving it a thought, I decided she had a point, but was putting it across rather poorly.

We could discuss her motives for writing the article endlessly, perhaps that regular cheque from the Nation, a few hits on her blog, or even worse, that those are actually beliefs she holds true, that isn’t important.

I’ve heard from certain quarters that females are genetically wired to seek out successful/dominant males, while males are engineered to want to spread their seed all around. If you watch your Nat Geo you’ll have noticed that no female wants to mate with the weak male, an actual manifestation of my point above, which is again reflected in how women pick their mates.

No woman will willingly enter into any long term relationship with a man who’s seemingly heading nowhere in this life. Most women will be with men who show a better than average approach to securing and ensuring their emotional, and financial futures, or men who already are in financially stable conditions.

It’s in rather bad taste for one female to publish an article in a national newspaper advising her fellow kind not to date ‘broke’ men, in this case broke referring to men who can’t immediately lavish them with all of what their hearts desire.

It’s not wrong to want to date a Porsche Cayenne GTS driving, Muthaiga living, cigar smoking, 10 holidays a year chap, they need love too, but look at yourself, what are you bringing to the table? It’s important to be able to complement each other.

In any case, if you don’t feel like that works for you, then fine, because to each his own, but do not drag the names and reputations of gentlemen who work hard trying to improve their lives a bad name, remember, that Porsche could once have been a Toyota E100, and that mansion could have been a bedsitter in Umoja, Innercore.




Five Things to Know for Your New Day – Monday, June 23


New Day

John Kerry visits Iraq as the country gets pummeled by militants. Soccer star Hope Solo heads to court after cops say she attacked her sister and nephew. And a Louisiana company is offering a cold summer treat made from pickle juice.

It’s Monday, and here are 5 things to know for your new day:


Dicey situation: If you think your Monday is stressful, at least you’re not John Kerry. The secretary of state landed in Baghdad today to try to help with Iraq’s problem of losing swaths of the country to radical militants. But even President Obama said there’s only so much the U.S. can do. If Iraq’s not willing to help resolve sectarian strife, “there’s no amount of American firepower that’s going to be able to hold the country together.”

[cnn-video url=””]


Baby steps: Army Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl is no longer a…

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Much as we all proudly proclaim to be a digital generation living in the 21st century, somewhere deep in the societal heart, the belief that women are the weaker sex is still inept. Yes, the constitution has really done a lot to protect the woman; yes we can vote and we have equal opportunities in the job market as men. But when it comes to the sexuality issue, suddenly, the woman is supposed to be symbol of submissiveness and an icon of morality.

Since birth, a woman is taught to conserve her “flower” only for her husband. The fruit should only be picked once it’s ripe i.e on your marital bed. And the notiion that sex is a gift to your husband alone is the most twisted and disturbing notion. What about those women who simply do not want to become married? Aren’t they deserving of the Big O that…

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Little Somali



Since the tragedy in Westgate the Somali community in Nairobi has come under siege. On one side they face unjustified crackdowns by police officers looking for bribes, and on the other, they are faced with extremist elements in their community. Residents of Eastleigh and Majango point to two mosques in particular, where Al Shabaab recruitment takes place. The Bilal Mosque in Eastleigh and the Riyadh Mosque in Majengo (commonly known as the Majengo Mosque). “Construction of this mosque was started by the committee of old men who pulled down the old mosque and embarked on building a new one. There was a day the young men came in and raided the mosque, pilfered everything, and beat up the men. Since then, they run this mosque. The Al-Shabaab run this mosque up to now,” says a concerned parent about the Riyadh mosque.“It happens that we get arrested and we are demanded huge money that we cannot afford, to be released. Sometimes, we are called Al Shabaab.”

While specific locations of Al-Shabaab recruitment are known, police officers on the ground seem more concerned with lining their own pockets than pursuing terrorists. “When night falls, around 7:00 p.m., they’re already moving around, they arrest people, sometimes even people with nothing, they lock them up,” Abdirahman Ali Noor, a taxi driver in Eastleigh, shares. “The only thing that might help you is if you have a little money, if you don’t, then you cannot be helped, you will get locked up.” He says.

“It happens that we get arrested and we are demanded huge money that we cannot afford, to be released. Sometimes, we are called Al Shabaab,” says another Eastleigh resident about the frequent crackdowns.


Eastleigh has been an overlooked neighborhood for many years and widespread poverty has driven young people towards gangs and extremism. “We have a lot of problems living here in Eastleigh. We don’t have a proper road network, almost all the roads are blocked, business has gone down, there is insecurity. We have thieves who rob and steal people’s property. It would be good if the police did their work, sometimes the police go out just in search of cash, randomly arresting people and taking bribes. There is also a gang of boys that has come up here called Supa Power that kills residents. They stab them with knives or slash their heads with machetes, “says Imam Abdirashid Ali Noor, a Kenyan Somali cleric working in Nairobi.


The neglected part of Nairobi has seen the extremism slowly develop over the last ten years. “In 2004, things were cool but from 2006, the problem started. Al-Shabaab spread in Somalia from 2006. Now they have reached all the way into Nairobi. After Westgate attack, you see how things became,”says Lihle, another resident of Eastleigh.

While Eastleigh is under the microscope the neighboring area Majengo faces similar problems. A parent in Majengo, whose son joined Al-Shabaab, says that several young men have been recruited over the last couple of years. “As I speak, my child is there (Somalia), and he lacked nothing at home. They lie to them, and make them believe they’re fighting for religion, but it’s a lie, they’re not fighting for religion, they’re doing the complete opposite, everything they’re doing is a complete opposite of religion,” he says.

Over a month after the 21 September terrorist strike at Westgate Mall in Nairobi, CNN’s Nima Elbagir crossed over the extensive north-eastern Kenya-Somalia border undetected, and made her way back into Kenya. She retraced the routes frequented by illegal immigrants, refugees and possibly Al-Shabaab terrorists. Her passage through the ‘panya’ routes via Daadab Refugee Camp exposed not only the ease with which terrorists infiltrate Kenyan but also the inefficiency and complacency of security personnel.

In late November, the Kenyan Government through Interior Secretary Joseph Ole Lenku announced plans to officially shut down Daadab Refugee Camp and begin repatriation of Somali refugees as early as January 2014, following a tripartite agreement between the Government of Kenya, the United Nations High Commission for Refugees and the Somali Transitional Authority. With over 400,000 occupants, Daadab is often described as the largest refugee camp in the world and is suspected to be a breeding ground for terrorists. What this means for the thousands of refugees living in Nairobi is still uncertain.

The Inspector-General of Police was not willing to comment on these issues.

By Gerald Ndung’u & Mark Namaswa.